Regardless… I am stuck.

Perhaps it’s the unending headache. It may well be the recurrent depression. Whatever it is it’s becoming unrelenting. I am creatively dry. Ideas are shrivelling like fruit on an un-watered tree in the height of summer. 

I’m also haunted by bad decisions. This has been a recurring theme most of my life yet… lately it’s been drawn into a much sharper focus.

Is the realisation of faults a path to enlightenment and change? I can’t convince myself. The stories we are told/read are dripped into us so that we see the protagonist learn and change. It’s pretty fundamental to story telling. The main character should be taken on a journey that sees him grow as a person.

I can’t be convinced that fiction imitates life if this is the case because I rarely feel I learn anything from what happened.

To an extent I am at least now aware of the things I do and the character traits I have taken on yet I seem to be following an inescapeable path toward retreading these constantly.

Am I being slow on the uptake? I don’t think so. I know what I’m doing, what I’m capable of and the havoc that it can bring yet… I’m still drawn to do it. I feel like I have become the narcissistic bad guy in my own life.

There are times when I have no real problem with this. I guess that’s the narcissism? There are times when I curse myself for my inability to change in the face of an overwhelming retreading of bad shit that I created.

Now… I have to wonder what is responsible for this cycle. Can I break and if so what is it that’s causing it. Perhaps it’s the unending headache. It may well be the recurrent depression.

Regardless… I am stuck.

I can’t speak for my mother of course but I got a little introspective. I started to mull over the last time I’d been really inspired to write something. It was back when I’d been playing in a band. Sure I’d had ideas since then, but nothing that I ever fully realised and certainly never committed to paper. Ah ha… I thought… paper…

Since leaving the band it’s been qwerty all the way. From on desk keyboards, laptops to virtual keyboards on touch screen devices. I had stopped putting pen to paper. Technology has come a long way since the band started and it’s moved further still since I stopped playing and I had come to rely on electronics and gadgets to try and get my ideas in one place.

The trouble with this seems to be that I don’t treat an electronic document with the same respect that I treat an actual written page. Electronic documents can hide a multitude of sins. Delete a line here, reword something there, the ability to work on the fly and make constant corrections might seem like a joy to some people but I find there is an odd occasion where a line of dialogue or a description gets lost in the constant changes when the first words written would have worked but are now gone, edited from existence and almost unable to be captured again in the wild of the imagination. Maybe it doesn’t flow as well working electronically. I know myself my typing skills leave a lot to be desired so when I’m looking at the screen I’m compelled to stop and make corrections as I go and I lose the natural pace that I am inclined to write at.

There is also a beauty in the way a pen can flow across a page. A simplicity to it that has become so ingrained in me over the years that tapping away on plastic keys or a glass screen can never quite hope to reproduce. It would be easy at this point then to say that I should switch to paper. But then I’m trading back the ease of carrying a device that does it all to lugging a heavy note book and relying on ink running out again. A small price to pay I guess for capturing an idea as appears but a price never the less.

The hard reality is that I’ve been breaking my creative side so long now that age is having an impact. When I was younger everything was inspiring and ideas spilled forth like fresh cold water from a mountain stream. I’m not certain the ideas have dried up but I know I have become more jaded to them in age. It’s hard not to look around and think it’s all been done before. Nothing feels quite so original these days.

Complacency sets in. I’m left with shiny toys and dreams that will never see the light of day.

I could blame it on the technology. I could blame it on age. The truth is I really have no-one to blame but myself. If I let this go… if I let the ideas fade… what am I left with. Should I just accept that those days are done or should I remember that I used to be a dreamer?

Perhaps I have to think about it some more… not that thinking ever hurt. That’s where ideas are made.

Mobile Operating Systems

Touchpad owners can visit http://webapp.hoccer.com/ and start slinging pics to your touchpad wirelessly. The most important thing to note is that if you want to be saving the pics once you have the webapp open and running you’ll be wanting to look for the link on the bottom to Hoccer Wall. Once there you can sling or slide the pic from your mobile device and watch it appear on the touchpad. Tap the pick to bring up the menu and save to device. You will need to reload the wall after every pic but as a workarounds go at the moment it’s the best I’ve got.

If anyone else has any better suggestions please, feel free to share.

My current incarnation around this here internet actually started back in my last band. In fact it’s where the ridiculous user name comes from. Its an amalgamation of a part of my real name and the bands name. I’ve altered the title of the blog to give some idea of how it sounds when I say it. If I’m totally honest though it’s always given me a laugh on Xbox live or PSN hearing people trying to pronounce it.

So I adopted the moniker quite some time ago now and it stuck. I tend to use it everywhere I go these days. A quick google will give you a good indication of where I’ve been monkeying around on the internet all this time. So if you stumble upon this and you think you know me from somewhere else then chances are high that this is indeed me. 

A part of kicking this blog again is to try and give myself somewhere I can talk a little longer and somewhere I don’t have a captive audience on time lines or friends lists. Apologies in advance if this is boring the shit out of you but really. No one made you come and no one is keeping you.

That’s about the end of the intro. You know my name now. So I guess that means you know where to find me.My current incarnation around this here internet actually started back in my last band. In fact it’s where the ridiculous user name comes from. Its an amalgamation of a part of my real name and the bands name. I’ve altered the title of the blog to give some idea of how it sounds when I say it. If I’m totally honest though it’s always given me a laugh on Xbox live or PSN hearing people trying to pronounce it.

So I adopted the moniker quite some time ago now and it stuck. I tend to use it everywhere I go these days. A quick google will give you a good indication of where I’ve been monkeying around on the internet all this time. So if you stumble upon this and you think you know me from somewhere else then chances are high that this is indeed me. 

A part of kicking this blog again is to try and give myself somewhere I can talk a little longer and somewhere I don’t have a captive audience on time lines or friends lists. Apologies in advance if this is boring the shit out of you but really. No one made you come and no one is keeping you.

That’s about the end of the intro. You know my name now. So I guess that means you know where to find me.

My life has changed considerably. I’m back in my home town now, living alone and I’m not gaming the same way I used to. I always blogged regularly. Usually about any such shit that popped into my mind and I guess it’s time to get back to that. 

I’ll break this up into a series of posts. Make it a little more manageable for me and anyone who winds up here by accident. This should also let me shove the old posts into the archive a little quicker while I set about changing the layout and images on the site when I finally sit at a pc.

Here goes…

Yup that’s right, diving straight to a cliche this morning and paraphrasing the lyrics to “War” a song made infamous by Edwin Starr. While I had the best of intentions of coming on and bitching about the irony of the patch 3.3 random LFG title “The Patient”, discussing our failed attempt at semi pugging the Eye Of Eternity and grumbling about how much of a pain in the ass it is trying to gear my dk tank, Rawr was brought to my attention. So without any further digressions I return to the opening question.

This will probably be an overly simple post as I’ve only been playing with Rawr for a little over an hour. Procrastination has been, as ever, my downfall as the realms are back up and I should really be farming my ass off to level blacksmithing, another major bug bear atm but saved for another post.

So what is Rawr? It’s a programme designed for inspecting gear and checking stats. On the surface it really is that simple. I plugged in the details of Nifan in to it and a short time later it brings up my stats. my currently equipped gear and so many lists and tabs that initially it’s quite daunting. After a quick poke about at the tabs I found I can set my rotation as a list of priorities and switch about as it pleases me, I can swap glyphs in and out, toggle buffs on and off and generally get a feel for what my expected dps is. On the right of the screen is a series of drop down menus I can use to check each equipment slot and what dps it will give as an increase or decrease to both myself and my pet. Now as a straight up dps class it’s been pretty easy to take in all the numbers and look at possible upgrades. I’m now off to plug the tank in to it and see what it looks like.

If your a min/max type of player you are probably familiar with having spreadsheets about and are no doubt familiar with Rawr as well but, hey, I’m new to the party here. This is little more than a first impression so if anyone reads this and would like to toss in some info about it please do. All advice gratefully received.

Ciao for now pimps, I’m heading back to farm some adamantium *sigh*

Anyone familiar with the blog or even having had a look at the blog title will be aware that I like to fill that gap in play time with a quick recap of my week in WoW and my general musings on where I’m at as a player.

This week I’ll be discussing finding my feet as a guild officer and some news regarding my latest foray into raiding.

This week has been pretty eventful as far as WoW goes. For the first time since becoming an officer for The Belonging Kind (bronzebeard-eu, alliance) I’ve actually had to act like an officer. Following our recent expansion and the ever elusive new recruits that fit the guild, the officers had to knock heads and decide where we were aiming from here. Were we gunning for a 25 man team? Were we looking for a rotating ten man roster? How would this affect the feel of the guild and more importantly our enjoyment of the game? We’ve settled on a slow and steady expansion. It’s clear we need more players but not at the expense of having a guild that feels like playing with friends rather than a chore.

I spent some time on Be Imba! this week carrying out a guild audit on our team of 80′s. It was interesting to see what the curve looked like from the top geared players down, also very interesting to see what kind of gear, gem and enchant issues people were having. I’m not going to be criticising any of our team for having the wrong enchant on a bit of kit, nor am I going to be chastising any players for under-gemming items but it gave me a good look at what I could do as an officer to give them pointers, get some enchants on a vellum for them and point them in the direction of our resident JC. Any help I can give to one player will have returns for the group as a whole.

Having had very little experience of raiding and only now approaching the end of my first year in WoW actually being a guild officer in more than just name looks set to be a rewarding experience.

In other news: Having completed our first ever Naxx run last week this week is was the turn of The Onyx Guardian to feel the might of The Belonging Kind. It was an eventful run, we decided to leave one drake up for the fight and trying to expand our current team with a number of PuG raid members proved to be taxing on the patience. It became apparent that to pull it off three tanks would be a serious requirement and trying to find a tank as the night wore on was looking less and less likely. In our GM’s ultimate wisdom he asked if I wouldn’t mind switching characters and bringing Zarthras. So with only 2 normal dungeons and a single heroic run under her belt Zarthras now has the honour of having downed Sartharion with 1 drake still alive and a nice shiny cape to prove it.

Ciao for now pimps.

This week I’m looking at my newest level 80, a Death Knight for Tanking with.

While I’ve been continuing to gear the hunter I started to feel like I was stuck in a bit of a loop running the same dungeons again and again and still never getting to see the Orca Hunter’s Harpoon or the Battered Hilt. So I’m currently stuck dual wielding daggers and creeping ever closer to 4k dps.

I know I should keep grinding out my frost badges but it’s not just me who’s felt a little stuck in a rut. I came back to the game from my Christmas exile to find our guild roster had expanded slightly and one of our junior members* had suggested we start a raid night. So it’s full steam ahead now as we are gearing alts up and recruiting new members to see if a once a week raid night can spice things up.

In the mean time i moved back to leveling some alts. If you’ve seen my flickr page you’ll have seen Wulfric, my Gnome lock, I’ve bounced him up a few levels now and finally got him the heirloom staff from the champions seals. I love playing a lock and I’m looking forward to getting him to 80 and in to end game but in the mean time I needed something different than dps to keep me occupied. This is where I finally get on topic…

Like most WoW players, I’m sure, when I got the opportunity to roll a Death Knight I did. She rumbled along fairly peaceably until I hit the horrendous stumbling block that was leveling 65-68 in Outland, it seemed to be taking forever with no real tangible reward. I wasn’t learning the class, my spec was a shambles and I lost a lot of interest. Being a bit of an alt-o-holic though I soon found myself slogging through the last few levels and into Northrend on will and a lot of rest xp.

I finally bounced her through to 80 two nights ago with some help form my guild and the suggestion that it would be a good idea if I learned what tanking was all about. I don’t know the first thing about tanking so I have been trying my hardest to soak up as much of the theory craft behind it as humanly possible while scouring loot tables and builds. I settled on what looked like a solid 2h Frost build which on further inspection need some tweaks to improve. Hoping that I’ll get my first run through some of the Northrend dungeons tonight with some guildies to try it out, with the right team behind me I’ll be able to pick up the basics fairly quick and who knows, maybe I’ll enjoy tanking so much I’ll be rolling a Worgen Prot Warrior come the Cataclysm instead of my planned Mage or Priest. Only time will tell.

If anyone has any suggestions and links for websites related to DK’s and/or tanking please post them in the comments. Any help is greatly appreciated.

Here is a link to my armoury profile, I’ll apologise in advance for the Arthas like name that I know will likely offend rp’ers, I even contacted a GM myself some time ago regarding a possible breach in the ToS regarding naming but the GM insisted he quite liked the name. I am actively considering a name change but in the mean time here’s Zarthras

Time to call an end to a rather substantial post, ciao for now pimps. Once more unto the breach.

*I say junior member purely for the fact that it is an alt character he has signed up to our guild following his move away from progression raiding with his mains guild. A guild, I should add, that we have a fairly strong bond with, including and not limited to us borrowing the first team healer fairly frequently.

***UPDATE*** Ran my first two instances last night, Utgarde Keep followed by a heroic run of Violet Hold. It all went reasonably well even if it felt a little scrappy from my point of you. Still managed to one shot VH though which was a pretty good achievment for my second time out as a tank. I guess it’s all about practice from here on in and some solid gearing up. Still grateful for all advice.

This week I’m looking at the things I’ve been learning in the new LFG

I should quantify that opening statement by explaining that I’ve only been playing WoW since late January of this year and that WoW is my first ever MMO. I’ve had a fairly steep learning curve getting my first toon to 80 and learning my class while trying to understand how the other classes work with me has been a real eye opener.

Until recently I thought I was fairly down with the hunter class and that as a MM hunter I was giving my all to the group, until the new LFG tool came along.

During a number of encounters in the early stages I muddled a long just fine. I was fairly used to running heroics with my guild and friends and I had the basics of my class down and I was watching my DPS increase gradually as I upgraded my gear and started to get my enchants in place. I even managed to get my first two 10 man raids under my belt in the form of Ony and ToC. The raids were a great experience but I wasn’t prepared for what was to come.

I’ve had to totally rebuild my UI, learn how to use traps and run CC, really get to grips with Misdirect and I’m finally starting to see numbers on recount that I thought were mythical when I first started. I think I’m really starting to learn my class and I’m now looking to getting involved with some casual raids to see how much further I can expand my game.

I have a feeling that I’ll never stop learning new things and with every patch that comes and an expansion looming on the horizon I’ll have to relearn things that at the moment I take for granted. I think the day I tell myself that I’m not learning anything is the day I’m not trying to play my class at it’s peak.

Anyone else feel like the new LFG has helped them explore a class a little better be it main or alt?

I’ll leave it that, ciao for now pimps.